Well, it is august but fall is approaching and eventually winter, so I wanted to put these things on. I was going to wait, but I just couldn't. To be honest, I'm not sure what the big craze is about. I think they are ugly. And they make your feet look huge. And...they're ugly. People just seem to like putting disgusting things on their feet.

Everything about this shirt is wrong. Stripes make you look wider. Do you really want that? No human being was ever this porportion. How could this shirt even fit anyone? The arms are too long and the waistline is too high. Your sleeves would be past your hands, and your stomach would be hanging out. And to add to all of that, your face would probably be washed out because of having white next to your face.

*cringe*

The only thing these shoes are good for is scaring away small animals, and children, and evil spirits...

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SKIN TONES

purple is one of those universally flattering colors, as are most jewel tones. though this example is particularly ugly.


If you are hispanic, your skin has some yellow undertones in it, so yellow will make you look sallow.


You know how I feel about message tees, and black is unflattering to a lot of skin tones. you have to have at least on olive skin tone to pull off this number. This shirt also is disgusting. The design is hideous, and the shape is...well there is no shape to speak of.


Peach is unflattering to a most lighter skin tones.

These jeans need to die

Um...wow. These are almost too revolting to look at. Not only are the colors horrible with each other, but these are waaaay to tight. The vertical line can be slimming, but if the jean is too tight, the lines are not straight anymore, and just makes you look worse. And don't say "well I could pull off those jeans", because no you couldn't. No one should ever have too look at these. These just need to die. *stab*

Not to be worn in public.

These scare me. It's like all of the fuzzy horrors of sesame street have some to life and are now deciding to eat people's feet. These are not to be worn in public. Ever. Under any circumstances. Please just go and get a real shoe.

For bed? Yes. For housework? Maybe. For the grocery store? No. For work? Don't even think about it! These are not to be worn in public!! Sweatpants are pajamas and are to be worn only to bed or around the house when you are not having an company!

How do you even move your arms in this thing!? Are you dragging your tassels in the soup? Do you really WANT to look fat? This is one of the ugliest colors I have ever seen...ever. Cat puke seems to be the main ingredient as far a color goes. How dare you ever even think about wearing anything like this?!? I need to go get my composure back before I start hyperventilating.

You are not five years old

I like the shape of the purse. What I dislike is that you are using trash to form your accessories. Where do the rest of your clothes come from? I mean really, it looks like you just joined the kool-aid brigade. This purse just screams "INSANE".

Silly people...

Don't forget to check my older posts. I wish they could all be on the same page, but unfortunately blogger has not learned to read my mind. Maybe I will just transfer everything to a live journal. If you are not familiar with blogger, there is a link at the bottom of this page that says older posts. Also, on the right hand side of the screen, you should see a box with info about me in it. There is another link on the bottom where you can look at all of my other blogs. Like, What TO Wear, and Modest and Sheek. Don't bother to look at the other one. I tried to delete it but it didn't work.

Old people need to get a grip

There is a reason why these are called tennis shoes. They are only good for tennis. Wearing them outside of the tennis court is vulgar. It is also rude to the people around you who are being blinded by your shiny new shoes. No, they do not go with everything. In fact I might venture to say they don't go with anything. (matching is not the same as going by the way) These are characteristic of some old retired woman (and in the really horrible cases a man) who is on vacation in Florida who does not own a mirror.

This is the reason why dumb blond jokes were created. If you wear a fanny pack, whether it is like this one or not, for the good of the world please toss it out of your window. They are called fanny packs mainly because they make your stomach look like there is a "fanny" growing out of it. Would it kill you to get a purse? You know you have a problem when your co-workers think you have a stomach tumor.

A sad euphemism...

When I first saw these shorts, it took me a minute to get my sight back, but as soon as I did I threw up. These are being called tropical walking shorts. It is nothing but a sad euphemism for an uglier version of the cargo short. Tropical my foot. Look at how low the crotch looks!! And they are pulled up way too high I can only imagine the horrors of the shoes that go with this outfit. I mean this is so upsetting. These things make me want to go get a shovel and bury them deep, deep, deep under ground. Let the mole people eat it.The matching top isn't exactly that peachy either.

Now, don't get me wrong...I don't want you to wear your 200$ heels out in the rain, but these boots are so grotesquely wrong on so many levels. Everyone wants to be a pirate, but this has just passed the line. Theseboots make you look shorter, and wierder. They make your feet sweat too. That is pureley disgusting. WTF was going on in your crazed little mind when you bought these. I mean, were you in the middle of an acute delirium or what? Take a look at some cute rain boots on my What TO Wear blog.


They may be comfortable, but they make your feet look bigger than your head. They usually only come in pastels and nuetrals, both of which are hideous. I can say nothing more. These shoes are the root of all evil. They advertise the for being comfortable, and the next thing you know it's a hidious fashion crime craze. First it was, I'll only wear them around the house, then it morphed into I'll only wear them to the grocery store, the next thing you know, people are wearing them to formal events!!



Sigh...have I taught you nothing? the poor woman looks so bored. I don't know if this burlap sack is really a burlap sack or if it just looks like one. I will describe this dress in one sentance: A shapeless burlap sack that looks like it went through a stampede of elephants, and makes anyone who wears it look very chuby indeed. Onto the shoes...An old man's shoe is not even close to acceptable. It makes your leg line look shorter, and makes your feet look huge!

Ugly shoes.

If you wear this, not only do you WANT to piss someone off, but you think it's great to look twelve while you are doing it. Yeesh.
If you are twelve, maybe. If you are over 17, don't even think about it. This skirt might make you look taller, but it is way too short, even for casual wear. If you are wearing this to the office, then prepare to be fired, by the way. When an adult wears something like this, it gives off a certain image. Either it makes you look trashy, or it makes you look like you are tyring to look younger then you really are. That just makes you look older.



Why is everything I put on here so pixelated? Anyways, platforms do not make you taller or even make you look taller. They just make you look a lot shorter because of the square toe and the chunky heel. They look terrible, I mean are we still in the seventies or what? Try a pointy toe, it won't kill you I promise.

Correction.

I am well aware that the correct spelling of "sheek" is chic. I simply spell it in that way because I think it sounds like the pronunciation of the word. Although I do not believe in spelling phonetically all the time, spelling that way sometimes makes the word look more...sheek. I will continue to spell it this way. I just want to let you know that I misspelled the word on purpose, and not because I cannot spell.

Never wear overalls...period

The cargo short. my brutal enemy, we meet again.
Usually paired with a black belt, and a hawaiian or dark brown shirt, the cargo short is the one thing that exists in every old man's closet. This short usually encourages the wearing of brown loafers, multiple nuetrals, and the giant sunglsses. This just creates bulges on your tummy, and makes your whole hip/thigh area look humongus. It looks 1000 times worse on a woman. Old men either wear it to their shests or under their gut. Here, a mid-rise jean can be flattering and comfortable, without making you look like a person vacationing in Florida who needs to be in a nursing home. DO NOT WEAR THIS!!

Oh my god. First of all, the pant leg is way too short and way too narrow at the ankle. That problem could be fixed if you pull them down! I realize that it may be convenient to use your pants as a bra, but it looks horrible! I do agree that the skinny leg has ben in for a little while, but this is not a skinny jean, this is a granny jean. The elastic waistband just creates unnecessary bulges, and looks terrible to boot. Look at how long down the lines go. That is a dead giveaway that you are over 60 years of age. You are not a purse, and you do not need a drawstring. Now for the shoes. Would it kill you to wear a shoe that is not brown AND ugly?? I see so much of this. The toe ring is not cute. No. It may be comfortable but you can be comfortable in nice shoes.



If you think these look good, then just leave. I have no hope for you. There is no possible way you can ever be rehabilitated.
This is about the ugliest peice of clothing I have ever seen. The shape is unflattering, the colors are erratic, the pattern is ugly. ouch! The floral patterns that are just randomly thrown in there are beyond grotesque. All of the ugly colors (exept for black) are just thrown in there! I never thought I would see yellow, black, olive green, ugly foral patterns, and HOT PINK all in one patchwork THING!!! Do not wear this under any circumstances. don't even think about pairing this with a nuetral, because just like the person who designed this, the pant is beyond hope of matching anything.

A nice a-line skirt and pale blue top. The blue band on the skirt matches the top and the bag adds flare and brings the colors together. The shirt is not too tight but does show off your figure. isn't that better? If the neck-line is too deep, add a little red or lace cami.


If you own this dress, and you are wearing it right now, please kill me now. What was going on in your little brain when you bought this?? O.K., let me regain my composure...
How could this ever make anyone look good ever? This dress is great if you like looking like a goodyear blimp in denim. Yes, there is a shape to it, but that shape makes your hips and tummy look huge. The problem with one peice dresses with no belt, is that your stomach is put on the spot, and even if you aren't fat , it makes you look hideous. What in the world are those buttons doing on there? I could imagine a few buttons, but this is crazy! Maybe this could work a hundered years ago on a farm, but this is the 21st century, and no matter what you wear you cannot reverse time. Look at the sleeves! They are huge!!I understand that a lot of people are looking for something that is modest. Just because you are old, or want to dress modestly, doesn't mean you have to wear this!! I have included examples of how to look great and be modest. I may create a whole section on that in the future.

The whole dress is made out of the same ugly material. It appears to be created from the drapes, and grandpa's belt. It is fine to use this material, but in extreme moderation! The sleeves are too long making your arms look shorter while the vertical stripes make you look a little taller. The sleeves are also too wide, and give the illusion of a very broad shoulder. The belt is too small and placed too low on the waist. This creates an unflatering bunch at your waist, which draws attention to your tummy. The whole torso looks unporportioned. The bottom half of the dress has no shape, and just hangs there. You need an a-line skirt to make your top half more flattering.

Coming soon!

I will soon be taking photos of random people who cannot dress themselves. Won't this be fun! You never know when you might appear on my blog!

I never thought khaki could be more ugly. It isn't even khaki! It's more like the color of cement. Let's talk about the shape. The longer skirt looks like a burlap sack, and the shorter one looks like a shorter burlap sac. The person who designed this must have been in a coma, because it could not get any more boring. I can't believe they make things that fold into themselves to become shorter. They must be for people who are too cheap to buy two skirts. You can even see the line where it zips or folds!



I am so shocked that anyone would wear anything like this, that I am at loss for words. O.K. not really. No matter who wears this, it WILL make them look fat. This is a result of the horazontal stripes, the ugly pattern, and the shape. Please do not even think about wearing anything like this whether you are a man or a woman! This is a good gift to get someone who you hate...at least it's good for something!

I'm not sure what this is made out of, but I think it might be some kind of lace. Presuming I am correct, there is way too much lace. A little frill here and there can add femininity, but this is all the lace straight from 400 years ago in one blouse. This much white can be harsh on a lot of people's skin tones, and is stfling. It is also not flattering to a person't figure. I would not recommend this shirt for any occasion. The shoulders also poof out, providing the illusion of a hunched and broad shoulder.

Oh dear, where do I begin? O.K....the skirt is beyond ugly. You could hardly can call it a pattern, just random clusters of flowers that can't truly match anything. The shoes are straight from hell. They don't match anything, they are the worst color and they don't even look comfortable. The shape of the skirt is not completely hideous, but it does cling to the legs and then go out behind the skirt, which is not good, and you can tell there is some kind of elastic waistband involved. *shudder*

Fashion no no's part1

The substance of all of my nightmares...the 80s jean!

This jean makes your ankles look like the only skinny
part of your leg, and the rest of you look like a blimp!
Seriously...if you own one of these, go throw it out now!!



Wow. This designer has taken it uppon herself to combine an ugly turtleneck with an even uglier frock thing. There really can be no excuse for this. It is shapeless, unflattering, it is outdated, the colors and patterns can in no way be flattering to anyone. I realize this THING might be for a child, but why torture them, and everyone who has to look at them?

Fashion gone wrong

O.K., we all know that there are people out there who actually think that their clothes look good on them. We have all been there, so now there is a blog where those poor unfortunates can look to see what's wrong with the non-fashion clothes they have been wearing since the 80's. There are even current fashion designs wich are frightening. Let's face it, we all need advice.